Nine months of hell, a life time of heaven….I didn’t have a chance to see her little body come into this world. At that time our (old school), doctor still was not letting the husband experience the birth of their child. As I sat in the waiting room for what seemed days, the concern for wife and daughter (or son) was unbearable and the anguish, exhausting.
Yes, we didn’t know what we were getting, how novel an idea. It was exciting, it was a mystery, it was wonderful, I was a mess and they didn’t sell beer at the hospital . Dr. Saiki comes in and tells me I have a new baby girl and all is well. He was a great doctor, a little on the gruff side but we liked him. His wife was a Hawaii senator and very popular. So, off I go to see my wife and new daughter wondering what life had in store for us. Knowing that this life changing experience would forever leave its mark, it was a big mark, I was a dad.
As I entered the recovery room, I could see my wife looking as if she has been run over by a mack truck. “Get this kid away from me!” she screamed. I knew she didn’t mean a word of it… probably a natural reaction. My comments would have been far more expletive I’m sure. I could never be a women, as weak as I am. So, I gave her a big hug and told her how proud I was of her. That didn’t help out much either. “Everyone please leave me alone”, and out the room I went. My job for the moment was done. I gave her some space and she rested… She was my hero.
I remember like it was yesterday Donna running to me with the news of her pregnancy, no easy task. By the sixth year of our marriage we decided to have kids. We were missing that very thing that made a family special and meaningful. And, try as we did, we could not get pregnant. At first it was just plain fun, but then… and we did everything, every which way, I wasn’t the stud as I thought I was. The cycle method, the temperature method and who knows what was tried. And then it happened. We went on a weekend spree into Waikiki to stay in a hotel and just have some fun together. Bam! That did the trick. Nine months later and here we are. So much for science.
So home we go, with a new addition and a new outlook on life. Yes, it was life changing. We were ready for anything. This girl that I knew my entire life had become my soul mate, friend and lover. Who would have know back then, that we would be together like this now, I would have laughed at the thought of it… I’m not laughing now.
And so it starts, the learning, the growing, the experience of fatherhood. I was young and naive, but my willingness to succeed overshadowed my clumsy attempt at being the super dad. I had no clue about it, I just knew it had to work. I don’t remember reading a book or taking a class about fatherhood. What I did know was the example set by my own father in my life. Remembering the times we had together, lessons learned, it seems that earlier knowledge is packed away somewhere ready to come out when the time comes. It almost seems natural. But, Donna on the other hand, seemed to be the super mom, knowing exactly what to do, when and why. She went… I followed… If you’re a guy reading this, there is much wisdom here…keep your mouth shut and learn from your women.